$1.00 Lunch

Yessiree folks, it's entirely possible to eat lunch for $1.00. You needn't spend between five and eight dollars on fast food. You needn't spend upwards of $20.00 at an actual restaurant. Nay, dear reader, you too can quench your noontime hunger for a mere buck.

Four words: Banquet Fucking TV Dinners.

Yup, that's right. These babies are regularly on sale for a jaw-dropping $1.00 each. And variety! Let me tell ya, there must be 25 different dinners to choose from. Salisbury Steak? Check. Fried Chicken? Check, in two flavors (original and Southern fried). Beef Stroganoff? Check again.

My personal favorite? Turkey Meal, or as I like to call it, Fakesgiving Delight. You get a dollop of mashed potatoes, a scoop of peas, and then there's the mouth-watering centerpiece: three, count 'em, THREE slices of processed pseudo-turkey (hilariously, one slice is darker than the other two, presumably to imply actual dark meat), covered in gravy atop a bed of stuffing (or, as they say down south, dressing). I keep a loaf of bread at work (for toast in the mornings, which is a cheap breakfast alternative), so I usually add a piece into the mix… you know, for that "buttered roll" effect (sopping up the leftover gravy is a fun way to end the experience). I find myself missing the cranberry element (more expensive microwave turkey dinners do include it), but it's worth the sacrifice when you're only dropping a measly Washington. Beggars, as they say, can't be choosers.

For the truly famished, one shouldn't waste valuable cash on higher-priced "Hungry Man" dinners. Simply eat two regular TV dinners and you're good to go. In fact, the truly adventurous might just feel compelled to eat two DIFFERENT dinners in one meal. I've done this, so I can attest to the genius of this approach. Mix 'em and match 'em, find the best culinary combination to suit your tastes, and dive in.

I can hear the dissenters already. High fat content, you say. High sodium content, you cry. Bah. It's a fucking dollar, folks. You can't have your cake and eat it too. What's more important, your health or your wallet?

;-)