Food as Comedy (or Tragedy)

So it seems Wendy’s has some new stuff on their menu. As a connesieur of All Things Designed To Kill Me, I figured it was my duty to check ‘em out. So yesterday at lunch time, I headed over there to do just that.

First up, the Sweet & Spicy Asian boneless chicken wings.

Okay, these things suck. No, that’s being charitable. These things suck ass. They suck pimples on ass. Eeewwwww. I don’t mind a bit of crispiness on a boneless wing, but crunchy? They overcooked the shit out of these things. The sauce is just…. well, boring. Sweet, I guess. Spicy, maybe a bit. I can’t recommend this, and I sure as hell won’t ever get it again.

Next, the Bacon and Bleu burger.

Looks decent enough. Lots of crumbly bleu cheese in there, and I love bacon more than I love puppies and Jesus. Unfortunately, the bleu cheese is pretty weak. Still, it’s not a bad burger overall. I probably wouldn’t make a special trip for it in the future, but it might serve as a nice departure for someone about to order their 913th Baconator burger. Still, I can’t help but feel underwhelmed. This should have been a knockout, and instead it’s just… kinda… there.

Wendy’s, what the hell? You just don’t wow me like you used to.

In other Absurdly Unhealthy Food news, I spied a sign at McDonald’s this morning: Coming Soon: Angus. I actually laughed out loud (yes, it’s true, I LOL’d). First, McD’s is a few years late to the Angus party, and second… hell, does anybody go there for quality meat? We all know that McD’s is the absolute bottom of the fast food chain when it comes to edibility (and we still eat it because Life In These United States is basically a race to see who can eat themselves to death the fastest). And they’re gonna sell Angus burgers? Ha. Double ha.

Yes, I’ll try it. I’m in the race too. Oh, the shame.