Who's Your Daddy?

Yesterday was Father’s Day. Sierra was born 17 years ago, which makes this my seventeenth Father’s Day so far. Yikes.

It started with breakfast: Thick-cut bacon, eggs, English muffin… oh, and a large Bloody Mary (thankfully made with regular vodka, NOT that vile Bakon Vodka (see previous entry).

Then came the gifts. First up, Kendyl gave me a cute handmade booklet filled with poems. Next, Sierra gave me a framed black-and-white picture of she and I, circa 1992. Then, Isaac tugged on the ol’ heartstrings with bottles of Coke and Mountain Dew (he knows me so well). As for Logan… well, I’m sure he felt his presence alone was enough of a gift (yeah, that was a jab, punk-ass). Thanks kids!

Next came the family gifts (which means they were from Teresa): first, the coveted Big City Slider Station, which you’ve probably seen commercials for (pitched by the one and only Billy Mays). If not, check it out:

Big City Slider Station

I frequently make fun of Billy Mays, so I was delighted to receive this. Oddly, the box says “Billy Maze” on it.

I asked for one thing, and one thing only, this year: Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal, on blu-ray from the Criterion Collection, just released last week. It’s one of my top-five favorite films of all time, so needless to say, I wanted it BAD. Teresa didn’t let me down. Thanks Bunny!

After the gifts, the six of us adjourned to the McMenamins Kennedy School in NE Portland for some lunch and a movie (Goldfinger!). If you’ve never been there…. well, your life is simply not complete. It’s a former elementary school that McMenamins has converted into a hotel/restaurant/movie theater. The former classrooms are now hotel rooms (the chalkboards are still there!), and there are multiple pubs on site (my favorite is the tiny little Detention Bar, which used to be…. you guessed it, the detention room). Concerts, weddings and other events are held frequently in the gymnasium. The movie theater, which usually screens not-quite-new movies (usually on the verge of coming out on DVD; Goldfinger was a special engagement specifically for Father’s Day), used to be the school cafeteria (or so I believe; I might be wrong about that). The restaurant is top notch (Teresa says their corned beef is the best she’s ever had), and there’s a gigantic outdoor seating area with an oversized outdoor fireplace.

Anyway--- it’s an awesome place, filled with odd pieces of eclectic art and fascinating décor and, since it’s a McMenamins establishment, they offer some of the best microbrews around (brewed on site!). It’s tucked right in the middle of a busy residential neighborhood, and I find myself really envious of the locals. If I lived in that area, I’d be hitting the Detention Bar every single night after work... it would be my Cheers. Just call me Norm (not Cliff Clavin, dammit).

We then returned home for an afternoon/evening of lounging, dozing off, and general inactivity. I could’ve squeezed in some quality hammock time, but in all honesty, I was too lazy to get up off the couch.

Pathetic, you say? Aw, piss off. Father’s Day was invented for laziness!