Foods I Miss...

Since it seems I'm only blogging about food and drink these days, I'll keep it going with a meditation on foods that once brightened my life, but are now conspicuously absent. These are items that are no longer available, either through discontinuation or other unfortunate means.

The McDLT (McDonalds)

Remember this? It came in a dual-compartment Styrofoam container, designed to "keep the hot side hot and the cold side cold." I loved it, both the concept and the taste. It was refreshingly different from the other McStandbys, the Big Mac and the Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Honestly, it was too damned good for a lowbrow joint like McD's. The McDLT (which stood for McDonalds Lettuce and Tomato) was a casualty of society's move away from Styrofoam, so it was discontinued after a few short years (I think it vanished around 1989 or so). They currently offer something called a Big 'n Tasty, which is an approximation of the McDLT, but it doesn't come close (and it doesn't come in two separate halves). I'll occasionally get one when I'm feeling particularly nostalgic for the McDLT, but I'm always left disappointed.

Twigs snack crackers (Nabisco)

When I was a kid, Chicken in a Biskit crackers were the absolute shit. I could eat a whole box in one sitting (which I did once, which pissed my dad off). As I became an adult, my taste matured (well, sorta), and I discovered the glory of Twigs, which were basically cheese-flavored sesame sticks. Perfect for straight up snacking or dipping… oh so good. Well, the fuckholes over at Nabisco apparently decided that they needed shelf space for yet another flavor of Wheat Thins, so they stopped making them about two years ago. I remember it was a gradual thing: for a while I could find them at some stores but not others. I finally asked a Nabisco rep about it, and was horrified to hear that they'd been permanently pulled due to "low sales." Fuck, if I'd known that, I'd have bought WAY more to keep 'em alive. I still miss them. In fact, we made some Knorr vegetable dip at home recently, which was the PERFECT dip for Twigs, and I felt the loss all over again. A lot of times a product can get discontinued, but it's easy to find something to replace it. There's NOTHING out there like Twigs, or I'd be fucking eating them right now. Fuckin' Nabisco.

Fruit and Cream Twinkies (Hostess)

I'm not real big on sweets, but I loved these. Essentially it was a Twinkie with strawberry jelly mixed in with the cream filling. Gooey and moist, melt-in-your-mouth goodness. They were only around for a couple of years, as I recall, back in the late 80's. I have no idea why Hostess stopped making them. For that matter, whatever happened to Chocodiles.? Further, I haven't seen a Suzy-Q in a while… what the fuck, Hostess????

*I couldn't even find a picture, so I had to use a shot of regular
Twinkies. Fuck!

While all of these things are sad (at least to me), this next and final item is by far the saddest, because the unavailability of the item pales in comparison to the reason it's unavailable. The item is…. My gramma's pancakes. My gramma Joyce made the best pancakes ever. I couldn't even begin to guess what made them so good, but they were awesome. I've had many pancakes over the years, but none have even come close. She died… wow, I guess almost 17 years ago. I still miss her pancakes, but God knows I miss her even more. She was an amazing lady; infinitely kind, eternally patient, and perpetually sweet… the ultimate gramma. She died before my kids were born, so they never had the opportunity to know her, which still saddens me to this day. I'm not a religious man, and I certainly don't believe in any fundamentalist afterlife; however, she's the one person who even comes close to making me reconsider, because nobody could possibly deserve heaven more. I miss you, Gramma.

* Joyce Elaine Carr, died 6/01/1991, age 61.